


Severe Case of Diplopia

by orphan_account



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Clones, Crack, M/M, Self-cest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 04:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2935235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Better known as double vision, or: the simultaneous perception of two images, usually overlapping, of a single scene or object. Squared. Or times three?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Severe Case of Diplopia

"What the hell," Hinata says flatly. 

"Agreed," Hinata seconds placidly, yawning. 

"I think I'm seeing double," Hinata comments. He looks at the four other Hinatas. "Times... three? Cubed? Math?" 

"You're not seeing double," interjects another Hinata, rolling his eyes and... pulling out an earbud. The first Hinata stares hard at the thick headphones settled on his collarbone. "That only works if you're looking at copies of someone else."

"Um, technically, I  _am_. I'm seeing copies of me." 

"That doesn't count, stupid. You're not  _supposed_  to see copies of yourself - not only is this seeing double, this is sort of on the verge of being  _mad fucked up_." 

"...Well,  _I_  thought it was funny." 

"Look, I don't have time for this, I'm going to miss my train," a fifth Hinata cuts in, agitated, shaking out his briefcase for emphasis with a smart phone in his other hand. "If I don't get there in half an hour, or  _by_  half an hour, Enoshima is going to tan my  _hide_." 

"Are you wearing  _a green tie_?" gasps the third Hinata out of the five clustered in the small room suddenly, now ignoring the fourth and fifth who is also wearing a tie albeit black and snail-patterned with an ease that could only have come from experience.

"This," the first and actual (maybe? after all, these copies can't  _actually_  be him, right?) Hinata answers, skeptically eyeing his counterpart with tracksuits and a sports jacket with a gym bag over his shoulder, "is a  _very stylish_  green tie." 

"Whatever," decides the Hinata, before turning to the others and going, "have any of you seen Nagito? We were going to train together! Fourteen hundred meter dash on Sunday, fuck it. I'm gonna get all out of shape!" 

One of the copies with thick headphones around his neck chokes. "No way, you reached  _fourth base_? You call him  _Nagito_? I  _just_  got him to drop the honorific!" 

"You lucky bastard," says the fifth with a severe frown. "Maybe if I were close to him, he'd do my paperwork for me..." Then, holding the phone abruptly up to his ear, "Yeah? No, Sonia, I'm... Shit, there was a  _meeting_? Well, I'm fucked. Bye, talk to you later, it's fine, it's not like I could piss her off any more than--"  

"Nagito? When'd that happen?" asks another, the second, Hinata with interest, cross-legged on the ground and wearing pajamas topped off with a droopy sleeping hat. "I never unlocked that free-time event... Zzz."

"It wasn't a big deal." Dropping his sports bag and unattractively flexing his legs through leaving one straight and bending the other, Hinata tosses all of them a smug grin. "Just some cardio exercises, right?  _Heaven_  for the glutes. And it just slipped out. You should have seen his  _face_." 

"Wait," says Hinata, fixing his green tie with a sense of weariness. "Does he call you Hajime?"

"You bet." 

"That doesn't make sense! What did you  _do_?" 

" _Yeah_ ," says the fourth Hinata. "This is... Why am I here? Am I hallucinating? Am I being punished?" 

"Admit it," Hinata says smugly, picking up his bag again. "You're seeing double. By the power of two. Wake up, down there." He nudges the snoozing Hinata with the toe of his tennis shoe. "Come on, we're going to have a huge orgy." 

" _What_?" chokes out Hinata. He coughs when everyone turns to look at him, straightening the tie he's still holding self-consciously. 

"Well, y'know," the Hinata with headphones supplies, thoughtfully, "if this  _is_  a dream, then we wouldn't be losing anything, right? And isn't this what anyone reading about our experiences would want us to do? Plus I'm pretty damn good with my hands." 

"Oh, yeah, DJ. I forgot."

"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! C'mon, it's nearly New Year's!"

"That's so cliche. Also disgusting too." 

"No one would ever find out about it," the suitcase Hinata picks up, though he shoots a sour look down at his phone. "After all, it's not like my wonderful  _boss_..." 

"Yeah, sure, whatever," slurs the Hinata with a sleeping hat, rubbing the back of his hand lazily over his eyes, before standing slowly and decidedly jerking the Hinata with a sports bag into a messy kiss.

The first Hinata throws his hands up.

**Author's Note:**

> Less than 3 days to go! And a Coke.


End file.
